Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Sometimes, you have to send your cape out for alterations

I'm No Superman by Lazlo Bane

I'm certainly no Superman. Sometimes I think I'm Wonder Woman but really wish I could be Zatanna, Raven and Black Canary all rolled into one. With a sprinkling of Black Widow for good measure.

The last few weeks have been stressful.
The kids were sick. Not at the same time mind you. There were 4 days where I had one or the other at my work place. The first day would be fine but the second day, the little buggers would not sit still or use their inside voice. Then I got sick.

Sinus infection, coughing, headaches. Last week was unbearable. Last Thursday (Halloween), I started my downward spiral. I was like Lindsay Lohan, popping pills for the sinus pressure and pain and the migraines. I had to take the last migraine pill in my possession that day. This was the last pill that I had nursed and coveted since September. I said to myself that if my migraine does not go away, I am screwed. Friday, I was screwed.

I made my way to the Urgent Care Clinic. They took my blood pressure and it was a whopping 170/110.
Wait. What???!
They asked if I was on BP medication.
Did I normally have bp issues?
No. I am in a lot of pain so that might be the cause.
Possibly. But that is still really high. Make an appointment with your doctor.
(or you're gonna die. dun, dun, DUN!)

Well, that's what I was thinking.

I got a shot at urgent care for my migraine and nausea. I got a refill for my migraine meds. I made an appointment with my doc. Even though I went through the weekend still in a drug induced haze and feeling slightly better, I continued to feel like I would drop dead any minute. What if I had a hard attack or a stroke while I was driving the kids? What if I was home with them and all of a sudden I was gone? Just those thoughts alone, I am sure elevated my blood pressure even more.

I tried the whole weekend to remain calm, to mellow out and be one with nature.
I saw the GP last Monday and my BP was 178/118.  Seriously?
I might as well have tried to make the Statue of Liberty disappear. Trying not to be stressed is the impossible magic trick for me. I ask the doc what I can do to help with my BP besides the meds. Stay calm. Again, cutting a women in half would be 100 times easier.

I am now taking blood pressure medicine. I'm 40 years old and my age is catching up to my 20 year old spirit. Last Tuesday was my lowest point. Not only was my migraine back but it was worse than ever. I was nauseated, I could barely walk, talk or open my eyes. My chest was so tight, I felt like 50 sumo wrestlers were sitting on me. And not in a good way. I felt I was knocking on death's door and wished he would open it just to put me out of my misery.

I rarely ask for help and I never let on that I am NOT superhuman but I felt I needed to be lifted up. Facebook is good for rallying friends. So I broke down and asked for prayers. When I woke from my coma, I was greeted with so much caring and concern. It could have been the second pill I popped but I like to think it was all the prayers and positive vibes sent my way that alleviated my pain.

There have been lots of crying and reevaluating. Even a fight with the hubs thrown in to really test my strength. In the greater scheme of illnesses, this is so minor. Many people would love to have this as their health problem as opposed to more serious conditions or terminal illness. Even though it reads like one, this is not my pity party. But I'll still cry if I want to.

It's ok NOT to do everything.
It's ok NOT to be everything.
It's ok NOT to be ok all the time.
It's ok, to put yourself before others, even your kids.
It's ok to ask for help.
And it's certainly ok to send out your superhero cape to be altered every once in a while.
You are still enough.