The transfer is tomorrow.
When I reread that, I get a flutter in my stomach.
And a tightening in my throat.
Then I feel the urge to cry.
If all goes as planned, my last five embryos will have been thawed and the select few will be transferred to a new family. I pray that it is a successful transfer. No matter if they were my embryos or another donor couple's, I pray this couple gets to experience what they have been wishing, hoping and praying for the last 8 years.
When I tell people about what we decided to do, I get responses that range from awe to curiosity. But in every instance, I am told that we have given this couple a wonderful gift from this selfless act.
But what I don't tell people is that it was not all selfless.
I did this for me. I wanted the peace of mind that those embryos would help another couple. I hated the fact that I could not keep them and might possibly expand out family. I no longer have the worry of what would become of them.
I did this for my kids. I have always wanted more kids but it was not in the cards for us. If any children result from our embryos, if they ever choose to seek us out, they are welcome to do so. I would love for Sam and Dean to get a chance to know their biological siblings.
If anyone you know might be interested in learning about embryo donation and adoption, feel free to message me. Here are a couple articles about it.